miscellaneous 2

Grandma, is it exciting being 99? 
It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? 
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? 
In a cat-alogue!

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? 
He wanted to have a birthday potty!

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? 
Because people kept toasting him!

What does a clam do on his birthday? 
He shellabrates!

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles."